Is one partner doing all the work? Discover the Must-Know Benefits of planning together.
My wife and I planned our own dream wedding. Yes, I am a man. Yes, I got involved, and yes, I genuinely enjoyed it.
By working together, we cut the wedding planning timeline in half, reduced our stress levels, and created a truly unique bond through this shared experience.
When you’re embarking on such a significant milestone together, why wouldn’t both partners want to actively shape it? It’s time we move beyond the outdated idea that wedding planning is solely one person’s responsibility, usually the bride. This is a shared story, and creating the first chapter of your married life should be a collaborative effort, reflecting both your dreams and personalities.
Think of the incredible opportunity this presents: to build something beautiful together. Stepping into the planning process, for both partners, isn’t about one taking over; it’s about each contributing their unique perspectives, showing their love and commitment through action, and ensuring the day truly reflects both of you. This is a chance to see each other’s strengths, to communicate openly, and to build a foundation of teamwork that will serve you well far beyond the wedding day.
Here’s how modern couples can plan their wedding as a team (you included):
1. Define your budget. How much money have you both saved for the wedding? Can you obtain any financial assistance from family and friends? What more can you save between now and the wedding day? What is the total amount you are willing to spend?
2. Align on the vision. Consider the fundamental aspects. Church or no church? Catered or self-catered? Local venue or destination? A single-day event or a multi-day celebration? And so forth.
3. Rank your priorities. Sit down with a pen and paper and start building your Wedding Planning Scorecard. Together, list all the potential wedding items you’ll have to tackle: venue, food, drinks, music, entertainment, photographs, videos, attire, makeup, transportation, accessories, cake, favors, etc. For each item, you both assign a priority score: 1 (not important/no preference), 3 (somewhat important but can be adjusted/compromised), 6 (important, worth investing in but not essential), 9 (essential, non-negotiable). Once you have both scored all the items, review the scores and discuss any significant discrepancies (for example, where one person scored a 9 and the other a 1 or 3). Understand each other’s perspectives and try to reach a consensus if possible. Here’s a look at the scorecard my wife and I did:
4. Allocate the budget. Calculate the average of the two scores and allocate the budget accordingly. The majority of your funds should be directed towards the items with scores of 6 to 9, while you should aim to save as much as possible on items with scores of 1 to 5. Similarly, for effort, the items with scores of 1 to 5 should not require more than 72 hours to plan and finalize, while for important items, you can allow yourselves even a few weeks to close them down.
5. Divide and conquer. Once you have all items scored and budgeted, divide the tasks between the two of you. A helpful tip: when you’re assigning who does what, look at the list and make sure you each take on a balanced workload. Try not to let one person handle all the most important or time-consuming items.
6. Plan follow-ups. Schedule brief, focused meetings in your calendars to update each other on your task progress and mark them as completed.
7. Have fun! Undertake the work and find enjoyment in the process. It is, after all, your wedding!
For more tips and inspirations on how to plan your dream wedding as a team, follow us on Instagram @weddingunboxed.